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Blog

Sex work and finances

Leela Sapphire

As many of you know, or don't know, I was just on a not so lovely vacation with two friends of mine. What was meant to be a relaxing weekend at the hot springs turned into a rude wake up call. Even in the closest of friends, sex work is still judged. Many people have this idea in their heads that sex workers are stacked in cash. That we all have fancy cars, and go on exotic vacations. Why that may be true for some, its not the standard.

Many sex workers engage in survival sex, that doesn't mean they're trafficked or lazy. It means that the job they chose (sex work) is the only thing thats keeping them from being homeless or starving. Education is a privilege that many do not get. Many of us cant just go out there and get a minimum wage job and survive. News flash, you can't live on minimum wage and support a family, or afford rent in many areas of Chicago. Stop judging sex workers and telling us to just go get a job. We have a job, sex work is work! To be an independent provider we spend hours creating websites, ads, photoshoots, and securing in-call locations. Working for yourself means paying health insurance out of pocket and covering all overhead cost. Theres a lot that goes on behind the scenes that most don't realize. I didn't just wake up one day and go, yup I am going to start pegging men in Chicago and be successful overnight. It took years of establishing myself and fine tuning my craft to be successful. I cut my teeth working in sensual massage parlors and have learned so much over the years. Many women aren't lucky enough to have community or mentors. Many sex workers are forced into exploitive situations because politics have continued to take away their rights. 

So why am I reminding you dear readers about this? Well on my vacation my dear friend assumed I would pay for everything because of my chosen job. I am a generous person but its sad to think that judgment and assumption is on the minds of even those closest to us. So be kind to your provider, be kind to the street walkers, fucking just be kind and stop assuming shit. 

End rant.

-Leela 

SESTA/FOSTA: A story of smelling farts

Leela Sapphire

Fe Fi Fo Fumb I smell a conundrum....

No wait, but really what the literal fuck America?? I just imagine a bunch of old white guys sitting in a room smelling each others farts and laughing as they crush the poor with their shit laws.

Enter stage right, old rich white guys:  "Yeah lets pass a bill that will hold the websites accountable for their clients posts...Sure why don't we name this bill stop enabling sex traffickers, people will look like dicks if they say no to it. Really though we should probably appear to look like we give a shit that a girl was killed off Backpage ( maniacal laughter). Screw hookers, but no really check out the tits on that one... Make everything illegal I say! Were protecting America...."

Ok this most likely isn't how this bill got passed but it sure did seem like a shit response to sex trafficking and underage sex workers. Yes sex trafficking is absolutely fucking terrible and we should be doing something about stopping it. However, SESTA/FOSTA isn't that thing thats the end all, be all solution. In fact, it made it worse out here for a working girl. 

The free advertising and screening sites that sex workers used are now gone. Places that lower-income SWers used are also gone. This means more opportunities to take advantage of SWers who may feel stressed and desperate. The amount of pimps soliciting girls has gone up like crazy since this bill past. People are forced to the streets and literally dying because of SESTA/FOSTA. Not dying because they can't pay their bills, but legit being murdered because they can't screen or they've been forced to the streets. 

Their are lots of sex workers who choose this work, like myself. It gives us the freedom to have experiences we may have never had access to before. As a women I have been sexualized my entire life. The media has taught me to capitalize on my sexuality to get ahead in life. I remember Samantha from Sex & the City being my idol. She was empowered, sexy, and didn't give a fuck, she was the original boss bitch for me. Watching sex and the city didn't make me think hmm I wanna start offering sensual strap on sessions. I did however become extremely comfortable with anything sexy, including myself. First I wanted to be a model, then a Suicide Girl, then a porn star. Obviously non of these things worked out for me, but I kept trying on different hats until one stuck. Unlike many people in my profession I had a mentor, a roll model who taught me my foundation. From there I cultivated my own style based on what I enjoyed, verses what I thought people would like. I embraced my authentic goofy self, and it just so happens I LOVE fucking ass.

Hehehe call me Daddy, call me Mommy... Now shut up and suck my cock...

Now back to the heavy stuff. So since the birth of SESTA/FOSTA I have lost advertising money with no warning from sites being shut down. I have had to try to find new and creative ways of advertising, and I screen a hell of a lot harder. Sex work has been going on since the dawn of time. Before there was the lovely internet and social media SWers still figured it out. Call me millennial but I don't know how to post an ad in the newspaper and frankly I don't want to. Fuck I can't even go to the post office without having an anxiety attack. So please if you're reading this, repeal this shit law before we both get sent back to the stone age for our guilty pleasures. 

Smell ya later, 

-Leela 

Butt stuff for beginners

Leela Sapphire

Many of my clients are first time anal explorers. Maybe it was a porno or some self exploration that piqued their curiosity. Whatever it was they followed my protocol, secured a session and went on a journey with me as their guide. 

Its important to know that the more relaxed you are, the more pleasure you will have! When meeting a provider or doing something new and taboo it's natural to be nervous. Whenever I have anxiety about something I turn to doing deep breathing techniques. You can try this at home or during the session. Breath in for a four count, hold that breath for a two count and breathe out for a four count, holding the breath out again for a two count. Super simple right? The autonomic nervous system is responsible for our fight or flight responses. Deep breathing engages out parasympathetic system which is responsible for relaxation. You can read more about that in this quick article here

Ok so now that you know a basic breathing technique lets get back to butt stuff. Before any back door adventure (especially strap-on/pegging) be sure to enema. An enema flushes clean water into your rectum up into your intestines dislodging any impacted fecal matter. You can easily buy a fleet enema at your local Walgreens/ CVS. By doing an enema a few hours before anal play you can let go of any fear of being dirty or having an accident. Poop happens, its not a big deal but if we can avoid it by some simple cleaning protocol then great! 

You are relaxed, clean, and ready to go! Wohoo! This is one of those times where size does matter. When it comes to stretching, you are not stretching the anus per-say but you're creating space in the rectum for fingers and toys. Slowly and with good communication the body can stretch to impressive lengths. Anyone with enough warm up and lube can be fisted. However, listen to your body. If something doesn't feel good then slow down or stop. Remember your provider isn't a mind reader, you have to tell us when something feels off. 

Until next time! 

-Leela